Have you ever noticed people that jet-set across continents, whether for business, pleasure, or a mixture of both, never seem to lose grip on what they want? They have a clear vision of what they are looking for, and nothing seems to phase them. They’re not chasing a dream – they’re choosing and declaring what they want. Are you choosing what you want, or chasing a dream?
Here’s a better way to look at it: are you consciously choosing life and power, or are you falling victim to circumstance on your journey to your dream destination? Do things happen to you, or do you make things happen? This is the elemental difference between reacting to life, and responding to it. While they sound similar, they’re actually worlds apart. Reacting to life is knee-jerk, emotional, and often comes with blame and elected helplessness – i.e. “it wasn’t my fault that didn’t work; there was nothing I could do – it’s your fault.” Responding to life is taking responsibility for your place and impact in the world around you. It’s about noticing what is trying to emerge in every interaction (good and bad), and what energy and choice you made, and can make to impact it further.
Many people throw around the phrase, “everything happens for a reason,” electing to acknowledge that there must be something at work below the surface, but moments later find it impossible to see meaning in seemingly random events they don’t like. I ask what the difference is. It feels like it’s a type of selective responsibility – one in which you can claim power in accomplishment, but relinquish the responsibility in disappointment. Look, if you’re not in command of your life, who is?
Wanna change it all? Tired of struggling to find a better way? Do you want to actually reach those lofty goals? Do you want to make it happen without relying on the miracle of a winning Lotto ticket falling in your lap? Take responsibility for your life – your actions, choices, thoughts, judgments, dreams – all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly – it’s your life, and you’re at the wheel. Instead of chasing down what you want and reacting to the obstacles before you, choose the life you want, and respond to those same obstacles – this is the art of turning foes into allies, hurt into help, and rags into riches.
In everything you do, you’re committing to one thing or another. Everything you give permission to (saying yes), you are also denying permission (saying no) to something else. When you are chasing a dream you just can’t seem to reach, you’re saying yes and no to everything along the way – yes to failure, no to success; yes to struggle, no to learning; yes to familiarity (same old story), no to change / uncertainty etc.
So I leave you with an assignment:
- With every interaction you have with people, places, things, events, circumstances – everything. notice what choices you’re making, and what you’re committing to. Is it what you want? Are you choosing or chasing?
- If (and when) something doesn’t go your way, immediately take a deep breath and ask yourself what is trying to emerge. Are you going to respond and choose, or react as a pawn in the game?
I can’t reiterate this line enough: It’s your life and if you’re not in command of it, who is?
“Sedit qui timuit ne non succederet. Audentes fortuna iuvat.” – He who feared he would not succeed, sat still. Fortune favors the bold.
Blake
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