I have made it so far through the book, that it’s about time I started getting the word out about it. I am asking for help in getting it published and on store shelves.  The additional funds will be used to get the new Suicide Prevention and Life Celebration charity started.  These are exciting times, and I would be honored if any one of my readers became a contributor.

“The Unlimited Landscape – Exploring the power within you” is about the journey to that ‘more to life’ place we’re all searching for. Sometimes it’s a quest for success. Sometimes it’s a search for deeper meaning in the world around you. Often it’s a combination of many things. This book is an experiential piece – filled with exercises and lessons to guide you in discovering your potential, and explore that power. It is written with humor and sarcasm because that’s the kind of guy I am – as if we needed another sarcastic writer in the world, right?

The book is really a stepping-stone for Applied Happiness, and myself. I am raising money to get the book published and on shelves, but I’m also using any additional funds to put together a charity for Suicide Prevention and the celebration of life. I feel in my soul that the emotions in this project, and the passion of the positive paradigm, will make the future charity possible – and I would be honored if you were a founding contributor to our success.

Please check out the fund page by clicking the book cover image above. There are incentives to donors as well. We have three packages that allow you to receive some great gifts for your donation. Check them out!

Peace, Love, and a million successes to us!

Blake

Technorati Tags: appreciation, coaching, fund raising, goals, gratitude, love, personal power, positive thinking, success, teaching

Jay Shafer decided one day to remove the clutter from his world and start over.  He designed and built an 89 square foot home, and began living there. Leaving the ‘everything big’ lifestyle behind him, his life transformed. I love this story. It reminds me how frivolous some of our attachment to material goods can be. Does anyone really need a 20,000 square foot mansion? Maybe they do. I don’t know anyone with one, so I can’t just come out and ask. I’ll update this post if I ever find that answer.

This begs the question of what do we really need in our lives to be happy. It’s not so much about becoming a minimalist and throwing out everything but toilet paper and three outfits – that’s a little too frightening for most of us. Instead, it’s about removing the “noise” and “stuff” with which we all seem to fill our lives. It’s about pulling away from owning things just to own things.

Personally, I remember being younger and spending money on a whole bunch of things I found cool. Now I can’t remember a single thing I got that was important. And I certainly don’t have any of this cool “stuff” to show nowadays. Why did it all disappear? Was it not too expensive and therefore disposable? Was it simply misplaced? Stolen? What happened to all my cool stuff?!?!

It wasn’t truly important to me, so it didn’t stick around. Because it truly wasn’t that important, I didn’t miss it, and I didn’t replace it. Imagine all the things in your life you could sell off, throw out, or donate – stuff you really don’t need, won’t miss, and won’t replace if gone one day. The minimalist credo is similar to “waste not, want not” and is a great place to start.

This becomes MUCH easier after a values exercise. You get a solid sense of your values, what motivates you, and what you need to move forward. You can then ask what this “thing” brings you that you cannot be without. If it doesn’t fill that space inside you, it really doesn’t have to fill that space in your house.

Try your own version of living little. See how it goes, and let us know!

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all!

Blake

Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude, clearing, goals, inspiration, lesson, personal power, reflection, teaching, wisdom

Brian Mattocks over at Rent-A-Smart-Guy has a great post on setting real, achievable goals. There are several variations of the S-M-A-R-T acronym, but this is the original. Read on!

“Many people use goals to drive to a more ideal future. Some goals can’t easily be achieved because they don’t seem to convert well into the SMART (Specific, Measureable, Achieveable, Realistic, Time-Bound) goals criteria. Desires like new skills, future beliefs, or perspectives are often very difficult to get to a level of specificity or measurability. Don’t fret. There is a simple question based process to get you to some very specific objective goals.

“Objective Goals typically fall into the category of SMART goals. Most objective goals can be specific, measurable, achieveable, reasonable, and time bound. Such goals often relate to objective properties in the real world that you can appreciate with your senses. In many ways, setting these goals are easy – because they make sense. It is also easy to get help with objective goals.

“Subjective desires on the other hand are much more difficult to work with. Subjective desires often relate to feelings or perspectives on a situation or problem. Desires like “I want to get better at handling stress” become much more difficult to work with in SMART terms. Others such as  ”I want to have more self confidence” are just as challenging.

“Fortunately, there is a simple series of questions we can use to turn Subjective desire statements into Objective goal statements and make them easier to work with. Here they are:

1. What would different if you achieved your goal? This is a good question because it helps you get to specific behaviors and circumstances you can work on or create. Each of these statements of difference help to describe a potential objective goal or action step.
2. What am I doing now that I should start/stop/continue doing to help achieve my desire?
   In the same way, this question can help you get to specific actions or behaviors that you can change to achieve your desire. Each of these start/stop/continue items may be made an objective goal very easily. For example if you want to stop thinking judgmental thoughts, simply start counting them. Such a goal might be worded “I want to think 15 less negative thoughts a week by the end of the quarter.”
3. What is the emotion/need behind the visible desire?
   Often times, what we think we want is a “desire symptom” of a deeper emotional need, or desire. For example, many people want to lose weight in order to feel more attractive and be more confident with themselves. Others want to lose weight for the more “objective” reasons of health.

“Asking these three questions should get you from a squishy desire into a much harder objective goal. If not, keep asking them. Eventually such questions will drive into an objective statement that you can work with.  This is the key to taking a desire out of the realm of inaction and fantasy and bringing it into a place where you can work to make it happen.”

Rent-A-Smart-Guy is a great resource for getting all your questions answered. They cover topics on business, motivation, sales, networking, IT, engineering, and more. Check Brian and the team out! www.RentaSmartGuy.com

Technorati Tags: desire, goals, lesson, motivation, smart, success, wisdom

Psychology Today has a brilliant article on America’s culture of envy, and wanting be, do, and have more. Moreover, it’s about our own judgements that we haven’t accomplished enough – regardless of what incredible feats we have completed. It rings so true with me because I can hear the parts of my mind screaming at me about what I haven’t done, and how I fail to measure up to people around me; but I also hear the voice that’s amazed with the things I have done when I measure them against my ability as a human being to do them. It’s about measuring your life against your internal dream – not against the celebutantes on TV.

“The Contender Syndrome is subtly different from envy. It’s more a sense of not living up to the best you, rather than not living up to the best Albert Einstein. Some scientists say the feeling of not reaching your potential comes from a discrepancy between the ‘actual self’ (who you are), the ‘ideal self’ (who you’d like to be), and the ‘ought self’ (who you think others want you to be). Troubles arise when your actual self doesn’t align with your other visions.”

Anything from parents or teachers telling you things like, “You can do it. You’re better/stronger/smarter than this.” can start the process of either pushing you to achieve, or create the gap between where you are and where you’d like to be. This gap is the big pickle. Some people never learned how to build a bridge from here (actual) to there (ideal). Often this gap can seem too big to bridge, or simply impossible because the talent needed to live that dream aren’t available. Hazel Markus, a Psychologist at Stanford University, disagrees with this.

“A lot of people think you need the talent. People who end up suffering, feeling like they could have been a contender, are those with the idea that talents are pretty much fixed, so they don’t figure out how to get from where they are to where they want to be,” says Markus. “They don’t even really think it’s possible, so they don’t put the work into it.”

How will you know you’ve achieved it? How do you know you haven’t yet? How do you know you’re not in denial about your achievement? A lot of people see the ideal self and hear the ought self, but can’t get a clear view of the actual self. They may actually be very close to their ideal state, but they can’t see the steps they’ve taken, and the successes they’ve had along the way. Their gap is still too big. One great way to bring your progress into light is to name the greatest pleasures in what you have or do, or the person you are. You’ll see that your values are in some of your greatest pleasures. There’s more to life than ‘keeping up with the Jones family’ and it involves celebrating your successes just as much as you celebrate other peoples’.

Take time to reflect on where you are now, and what you’ve done to get here. You may find that your actual self isn’t far from your ideal self at all. Celebrate that! Follow what makes you happy, and do the work to get there and beyond. Often real, focused work is what separates the contenders from the victors. Success is subjective, my friends. One man’s failure is another man’s success. It’s all about what makes you happy.

“If you’re doing something positive in the world, if you’re productive, if you’re a player; then you’re a success.”

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all,

Blake

Reference: “I Coulda Been a Contender” by Abby Ellin. Psychology Today. August, 2010

Technorati Tags: envy, future self, gap, goals, ideal self, inspiration, motivation, self, struggle

It’s difficult to see the world in color if your mind only lets in black and white. The eyes are judgment-less lenses to the world. Our perception of what they record is the hindrance we often live by. One man gets laid off (in this economy? you’re kidding right?) and we may judge that as a tragedy. He, however, may see this as a perfect opportunity to pursue more time with his family while he decides his next direction. Our burden may be his blessing.

“Don’t think of organ donations as giving up part of yourself to keep a total stranger alive. It’s really a total stranger giving up almost all of themselves to keep part of you alive.” ~ Unknown

Life is about experience, and part of that is in the perspective you take to experience what you want. What you perceive is reality, right? When you focus on something – I mean, intently focus – the peripheral details disappear. Everyone has experienced the blindspot of reality when intently focused. When you fail to perceive the details around you, and instead focus on what’s directly in front of you, the entire world can change.

This is such a cool place to play for coaches and people who like to challenge circumstance with personal awareness. Many people spend their lives in ‘victim’ roles, and can’t see a way out. “These things always happen to me.” “I’m just unlucky.” “I’ll never make anything like that happen – that dream is just plain out of reach.”

We’re going to play a little game now. Look below and follow the pink dots around the circle. Then stare at the black + in the middle for a few moments. What happens?

When you first see this image, you see the pink dots rotating clockwise. After you spend a few moments staring at the black + in the center of the image, you’ll see a green dot appear to be rotating in place of the pink one. If you keep focusing on that + in the center, the pink dots will slowly, but completely disappear. Wow, if this doesn’t ever prove we don’t always see what’s really there!

This is such a fun lesson, but it’s also up there in importance. I like to use this exercise with clients that see past their own perceived mistakes to make new things happen. I also like to break it out when too much judgment is being held to a perceived event. Sometimes we all focus so intently on the negative that all the pink positive pieces disappear. On the other side of the coin, sometimes we simply can’t focus on the goal, that we simply can’t see any green (money, satisfaction, time, positive qualities) at all. It can be very discouraging.

If you ever have trouble focusing on the goal because all you find yourself surrounded by are pink dots, come back here and focus until they all just fade away! It’s a beautiful life, my friends. Have a great time, and keep your eyes on the direction(s) you want to go, and you’ll never have trouble seeing what you want to.

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all.

Blake

Technorati Tags: awareness, focus, fun, game, illusion, perception, personal power, perspective

I write over at Rent a Smart Guy as well, and this is an article that another contributor, Brian Mattocks, wrote over there that I think goes well with the most recent post here. Definitely head over there and read what we can do for you!

Wisdom is a business worth billions of dollars a year. Many companies, individuals, and social organizations claim to understand it enough to teach it – but few of them bother building the business case for wisdom. Why? Fundamentally, it is because the very notion of wisdom is difficult to understand. What is it, really?

Wisdom in a Nutshell

When I was young, upon coming to a door that was stuck closed, I would attempt brute force to open it. After a few minutes of thrashing and pulling and sweat inducing effort I would give up on that method. Then I would analyze the door and see if I could understand where and how it was stuck. Only after trying to understand the problem could I then devise an approach to open it. Thirty seconds of looking at the problem and 2 seconds of finesse resulted in an open door.

Wisdom is a form of knowledge – but processed in a special way. Wisdom is the applied understanding that comes from knowledge. When looking for wisdom in an employee, they call it experience, insight, expertise, savvy, or know-how.

The definition provided above explains the key problem with businesses and institutions that focus on providing wisdom. Such businesses like self-help publications and seminars; and social constructs like religious institutions; can’t directly teach wisdom. They can only teach around it, because wisdom emerges from the experience of an individual.

The benefit of wisdom is in the outcomes it creates. Wisdom cultivates enduring, positive outcome generating environments. Beyond the single result – when applied, wisdom lays the foundation for more results, or paves the way for more wisdom. An added benefit of wisdom is that it often provides business value along more traditional dimensions like: quality, speed, or cost.

A wisdom based approach to problem solving, for example, looks for “everybody wins” scenarios. A wisdom based approach to patient care is comprehensive. A wisdom based approach to sales focuses on relationships. Each of these approaches build better outcomes than “me first”, “symptom management”, “close the sale” approaches.

There are a few ways to acquire wisdom in a more direct fashion. First, cultivate relationships with those who provide honest and meaningful feedback on your behavior. Second, put yourself in situations that you have not experienced before. Third, cultivate mindfulness. While these aren’t the only ways, they are the clearest path to acquiring wisdom.

However you may acquire it, it is clear that wisdom is a good investment.

Brian Mattocks – Rent a Smart Guy – www.rentasmartguy.com

Technorati Tags: business, coaching, employee relations, investment, lessons, teaching, wisdom

“Once an old woman came to Buddha and asked him how to meditate. He told her to remain aware of every movement of her hands as she drew the water from the well, knowing that if she did, she would soon find herself in that state of alert and spacious calm that is meditation.”

“Water, if you don’t stir it, will become clear; the mind left unaltered will find its own natural peace.”

Sometimes we get so caught up in the rattle of everyday life that an overwhelming blindness washes over us. We’re blind to the true nature of the world around us, our place in it, and what we really want for ourselves. We are so in tune with the ‘noise’ that the voice inside becomes inaudible, and we often end up somewhere we don’t feel we belong. Some of us lose our way from time to time, right?

Stillness is such a powerful tool for reconnecting to that little voice. When the mind tunes out the noise, and instead, listens to the calm repetition of breathing, the soul can often take the moment and speak up – often with such clarity. Mindfulness meditation is an easy way to reach this stillness. I personally use an activity (one in which I can focus, and be on autopilot) as a catalyst to stillness. I wash and wax my car to ‘tune out’ the noise.

The calm I get in slowly covering the car in soap and rinsing her clean is immense. I’ve done this a few hundred times, so it’s nothing I really need to concentrate on, but I couldn’t have a conversation while doing it either – and why would I want to?!? I let my mind slowly shut off by focusing on the movement of my hands across the paint, and the shine that I reveal. Before long, I can hear my heart telling me how satisfying this activity is, and what parts of my life it also feels satisfied. I get a chance to really reflect without the rattle of my mind coming into play. This stillness of my mind is priceless.

In the Karate Kid movies, Mr. Miyagi puts Daniel(son) to work by having him wax the car and paint the fence. This not only teaches him Kata Karate movements, but it introduces him to stillness and mindful meditation. It’s often in the stillness that we come to great realizations. It’s almost cliche now, but how many times have you fallen in love with someone in the stillness between the two of you? Think about it!

The homework this time is to practice stillness, my friends. If you know how to meditate, please do that and listen to what your mind and body say when you tune the ‘noise’ out. If you do not know how to meditate, try to simply sit quietly with your eyes closed and concentrate on your breathing only. Concentrate on breathing slowly in your nose, and out your mouth. Soon enough your mind will unravel from its grip on the rattle, and you’ll find peace. That’s where you’ll also hear that inner voice speak to you. It’s incredible what he/she has to say sometimes.

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all,

Blake

Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude, awareness, Buddha, gratitude, happiness, lesson, love, peace, stillness, teaching, wisdom

Free Coaching Session!

With 2010 coming to the half-way point in the next couple of weeks, are you happy with where your year has taken you?  Are there things you’d love to change, improve, increase, or achieve?  Maybe you would only like a little clarity about where you are and where you feel you’re headed on this crazy winding road.  Have you had a day where you left your office for some lunch and thought, “what am I doing?” or “is this really all there is?” or even “man, it would be so incredible if I could only (fill-in the blank)”?

Coaching is such a powerful place to turn to when you’re looking for some insight and fulfillment in your life.  Maybe you’ve looked into getting a coach, but you doubted your ability to afford it…

GREAT NEWS!

We’re giving away 30 minute coaching sessions!  No, really, we are!  F-R-E-E !

Not only are we giving away the first 30 minute session, we’ve discounted our fees to help get you closer to your dream without taking away your savings!  Head to the contact page and send us a message to set-up a free coaching call (or face-to-face meeting), and take us for a test drive!  If you feel like you could benefit from having your own incredible coach, we are offering 30 minute sessions for $25 each for the first 90 days!  Imagine as much as 12 complete weeks of personalized attention, focus, and support to help you discover your best self and show you how to create S-M-A-R-T action plans to get you moving forward.

FOR PEANUTS!

For those of you thinking, “C’mon, there’s no such thing as a free lunch,” truly, there’s no risk. No contracts, no gimmicks, no strings, nothing. The time is yours,and the decision after your session is yours. No hard sell. No fine print. NONE.

Head over to the assessment page and see what you, personally, come up with. They’re free too. If you find some area of your life you might like to improve, we would be more than happy to give you the free session to touch on it. Call 847-754-9615 or send a message our way to set-up your FREE session today! 

As a bonus for signing up for your free session, we’ll send you the Applied Happiness Inspired Action Workbook at no charge! This 30 page workbook will help you get a head start on what motivates you, and what might be holding you back from getting what you want.  This is $10 value, absolutely free.

Don’t wait! This offer only runs through August!

Call or write us today, and discover what a coach can add to your life!

Audentes Fortuna Iuvat – Fortune Favors the Bold.

- The Applied Happiness Team

Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude, awareness, being bold, clearing, coaching, gratitude, happiness, lessons, love, personal power, positive thinking, success, teaching, wisdom

What an exciting time! There are new projects on the horizon, potential new writing endeavors, and The Best Coaching Blogs of 2010 contest is here! We’re thrilled to be ‘in the loop’ this year, and have entered this time!

It’s such a great thing, even if we don’t win (although we’d really, really, really like to… hint hint) because it spreads more constructive and empowering ideas around the internet, and the world. These blogs are written by coaches and coaching students, and they provide some pretty stellar insight about life, and how you can change yours for the better! Just like us, they offer powerful questions, advice, and outside perspectives to help guide you to a better understanding of who you are, and what you’re capable of.

THE IMAGE ABOVE LINKS TO THE VOTING PAGE – CLICK IT – SCROLL TO APPLIED HAPPINESS – VOTE UP (Click the UP arrow)!

We’ve got a real shot at winning, and it helps to get readers, subscribers, and some great feedback for us! Let’s make it happen!

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you (and us!)

Blake

Technorati Tags: call-to-arms, coaching, contest

I just wanted to post this for everyone to enjoy. Such true words. See man as he has the potential to become because it promotes him from where he may currently be! Brilliant! It makes me smile when I watch these powerful four minutes. Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: inspiration, motivation, positivity, truth, video, viktor frankl