Applied Happiness Coaching

“Once an old woman came to Buddha and asked him how to meditate. He told her to remain aware of every movement of her hands as she drew the water from the well, knowing that if she did, she would soon find herself in that state of alert and spacious calm that is meditation.”

“Water, if you don’t stir it, will become clear; the mind left unaltered will find its own natural peace.”

Sometimes we get so caught up in the rattle of everyday life that an overwhelming blindness washes over us. We’re blind to the true nature of the world around us, our place in it, and what we really want for ourselves. We are so in tune with the ‘noise’ that the voice inside becomes inaudible, and we often end up somewhere we don’t feel we belong. Some of us lose our way from time to time, right?

Stillness is such a powerful tool for reconnecting to that little voice. When the mind tunes out the noise, and instead, listens to the calm repetition of breathing, the soul can often take the moment and speak up – often with such clarity. Mindfulness meditation is an easy way to reach this stillness. I personally use an activity (one in which I can focus, and be on autopilot) as a catalyst to stillness. I wash and wax my car to ‘tune out’ the noise.

The calm I get in slowly covering the car in soap and rinsing her clean is immense. I’ve done this a few hundred times, so it’s nothing I really need to concentrate on, but I couldn’t have a conversation while doing it either – and why would I want to?!? I let my mind slowly shut off by focusing on the movement of my hands across the paint, and the shine that I reveal. Before long, I can hear my heart telling me how satisfying this activity is, and what parts of my life it also feels satisfied. I get a chance to really reflect without the rattle of my mind coming into play. This stillness of my mind is priceless.

In the Karate Kid movies, Mr. Miyagi puts Daniel(son) to work by having him wax the car and paint the fence. This not only teaches him Kata Karate movements, but it introduces him to stillness and mindful meditation. It’s often in the stillness that we come to great realizations. It’s almost cliche now, but how many times have you fallen in love with someone in the stillness between the two of you? Think about it!

The homework this time is to practice stillness, my friends. If you know how to meditate, please do that and listen to what your mind and body say when you tune the ‘noise’ out. If you do not know how to meditate, try to simply sit quietly with your eyes closed and concentrate on your breathing only. Concentrate on breathing slowly in your nose, and out your mouth. Soon enough your mind will unravel from its grip on the rattle, and you’ll find peace. That’s where you’ll also hear that inner voice speak to you. It’s incredible what he/she has to say sometimes.

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all,

Blake

Technorati Tags: appreciation, attitude, awareness, Buddha, gratitude, happiness, lesson, love, peace, stillness, teaching, wisdom

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” – Anais Nin

Today’s exercise is to describe your ideal self in the future, with one small afterthought. I’ll touch on that step in a moment though. As stated in an earlier post just down the page, many people see happiness as a destination, a place to get to – missing the biggest picture: Life is a journey, and happiness comes with the perspective you take at each twist and turn. Fulfillment in life is an exercise of choice; not something that will just happen someday.

Take some time for yourself, and get comfortable. You can listen to some music, turn the lights down, and maybe have a little wine to relax. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you’re comfortable and able to devote sometime to really focusing. Close your eyes and start to imagine yourself sitting in a garden. It’s filled with all the most beautiful flowers and trees in the world. You’re in a little clearing, sitting on a bench now, completely relaxed. Imagine the best possible future ‘you’ walks into your garden, and takes a seat on the bench just across from you. Also completely relaxed, this future ‘you’ is eager to speak with you, and answer all your questions.

What does your future self look like? What is he or she wearing? Does she look healthy? Is she happy? What kind of clothing is he wearing, and does it make you feel excited or anxious to see him dressed that way? Example – He is in great shape, wearing a beautiful suit jacket and slacks. They are a perfect fit, and he looks like a stud. You feel excited and proud to see yourself looking so dapper!

What does he or she do? What’s her life like? What are the greatest things she’s doing these days? Remember, this is your ideal future self, right here in your garden – what you should see is the exact picture of what you want for yourself in life. Converse with this future self, and find out what words of wisdom you think he or she could share.

When you think you’ve really connected with this version of yourself, and feel like you can accurately describe him or her in great detail, thank your future self for the time together, and make your way out of the garden. As you start to come back to reality, write out everything you saw, smelled, tasted, heard, felt, and learned in that experience. Essentially, you’re describing your ideal self – the way you envision him or her. Having sat in a garden with this future self, you’ve seen first-hand the way you’d like to be, so you should be able to create an incredibly vivid picture.

After writing out the description and everything that goes along with it, I want you add one more step. Imagine now, that you are that ideal future you, in all his or her glory. You’ve done it! You’ve become that great ‘you’ that’s always been waiting to emerge! Congrats! Step Two: Now What?

See, the story of your life is not about achieving that status or reaching that goal, it’s about the ‘and then’ that follows that milestone. Your task now is to declare what you’re going to do with this new power. You’ve just tapped into your inner strength, conversed with that ideal ‘you’ that’s always been there, although often hidden, and I’m daring to ask you what your next step is going to be.

All too often we get comfortable in the place we are, the roles we play, and actions we do and do not take. So comfortable, in fact, that we throw out great opportunities because they ask us to expand beyond what we’ve spent our whole lives masterfully developing. That sense of risk can be a gift or a curse – the choice between the two is yours once you realize it. So I’m challenging you to answer the “and then” portion of this exercise now. If you woke up tomorrow completely embodying every characteristic of that ideal future self, what would your next step be?

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“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

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It’s a big challenge, I know, but it’s important to realize that your life doesn’t stop at the end of the sentence. There’s always another “and then…” waiting for you.

So start here: I woke up this morning and discovered I am (insert now realized characteristics of ideal future self), and I can have, do, and be anything I desire. I got out of bed, gifted with this new discovery and then…

Peace, Love, and a million successes to you all!

Blake

Technorati Tags: coaching, fulfillment, future self, meditation, motivation, stillness